Cool and funny Facebook status Quotes Ideas
- Life’s a bitch, if it were a slut it’d be so much easier.
- I know three facts about you, one you can’t say M without your lips touching, two your trying it now and you look like an idiot alien, three now your smiling.
- People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe I am moving in circles.
- I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”
- Violence is not the answer only a temporary solution, read that on wikipedia somewhere!
- You can steal my status updates if you like, but I lick every single one before I post them.
- I think it’s okay for dorks to stare at beautiful women. I mean, it’s not like they can see us anyway.
- Take life as it comes in your face and runs down your chin.
- If life is such a bitch , Why do 97% of Men Marry one ??
- When you see a status saying; * just deleted heaps of friends off Facebook* reading it and feeling like Jesus
- That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious!
- Do not ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
- Don’t be like cigarettes, people buy you when they need you and step on you when they finish from you, but be like drugs, they DIE if they don’t have you..
- Am i the only one who gets this random urge to help old ladies half way across the street and leave them there?
- I don’t talk to myself, i talk to the little voices in my head that tell me to do evil cruel things to people and that’s the reason why i smile all the time..
- I know that you know that I know what you know and you know what they know so I know what you know they know, you know?
- Money is made of paper, paper is made of wood, and wood is made from trees. Therefore, money does grow on trees.
- You must be a certified helmet wearing window licker to ride the sunshine bus..
- I am not convinced Bin Laden is dead! He just accepted my friend request!
- Boy: So, sex at my place?
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we’re making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder.
…Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!
Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!
- The strawberry shampoo doesn’t taste as good as it smells.