Cool and funny Facebook status Quotes  Ideas

1. Life’s a bitch, if it were a slut it’d be so much easier.
2. I know three facts about you, one you can’t say M without your lips touching, two your trying it now and you look like an idiot alien, three now your smiling.
3. People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe I am moving in circles.
4. I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”
5. Violence is not the answer only a temporary solution, read that on wikipedia somewhere!
6. You can steal my status updates if you like, but I lick every single one before I post them.
7. I think it’s okay for dorks to stare at beautiful women. I mean, it’s not like they can see us anyway.
8. Take life as it comes in your face and runs down your chin.
9. If life is such a bitch , Why do 97% of Men Marry one ??
10. When you see a status saying; * just deleted heaps of friends off Facebook* reading it and feeling like Jesus
11. That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious!
12. Do not ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
13. Don’t be like cigarettes, people buy you when they need you and step on you when they finish from you, but be like drugs, they DIE if they don’t have you..
14. Am i the only one who gets this random urge to help old ladies half way across the street and leave them there?
15. I don’t talk to myself, i talk to the little voices in my head that tell me to do evil cruel things to people and that’s the reason why i smile all the time..
16. I know that you know that I know what you know and you know what they know so I know what you know they know, you know?
17. Money is made of paper, paper is made of wood, and wood is made from trees. Therefore, money does grow on trees.
18. You must be a certified helmet wearing window licker to ride the sunshine bus..
19. I am not convinced Bin Laden is dead! He just accepted my friend request!
20. Boy: So, sex at my place?
    Girl: Yah!
    Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we’re making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder.
    Girl: OK?
    ~Later~
    …Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!
    Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!
21. The strawberry shampoo doesn’t taste as good as it smells.